My Life Is Sage

Nov 10

things my professor says pt. 42

scienceofsellingyourselfshort:

“There was a problem with his tushie.” (in reference to Elvis)

“Dirty words, Dirty Songs and OMG”

“Who was having sex with whom and at what angle?”

- Leibo

(Source: misandrist)

Oct 16

Not only do they have their boyfriends, they have each other! Must be nice! >:(

This is your reaction when you are in the Forever Alone club and your non-single friends decide to be Forever Together…Together xD

…I realize it was a lot funnier if you were actually there

Oct 14

Getting a massage

• friend one: I'd be afraid if they massaged my butt that I'd fart.
• f2: it's not stored in your butt
• f1: what if I had to fart the whole time?
• f2: well, you should have farted beforehand, then.

“My students are trying to kill me. That’s what I tell my wife. She says, ‘I hope they succeeed.’” — Tom Sweeney, aka the best math professor ever (via r0nniethebear)

(Source: a-magiciannamed-gob)

“why would you put out a cigarette in your friend’s armpit?”

Oct 12

• friend 1: what do you like most about her?
• f2: I like her big booty bitches, big booty bitches
• f3: I feel like we're violating each other..
• f4: no... we're at that point in our relationship!

“I get so upset sometimes and I always forget why I’m upset.” — A friend

“‎it’s not even a girly movie.. it’s from the 60’s.” — a friend in reference to the breakfast club

Do a little dance

A friend just walked into my room wearing a leopard print snuggie, goggles and a cowboy hat, proceeded to run, tripped and ended up doing the most awkwardly hilarious dance I have ever witnessed.

my life is sage

Oct 07

wanderlustgrrrl:

one of my friends just opened my door, walked in wearing a blanket, started making noises and walked out

another friend then peeked in, smiled and shut my door

what is my life

(Source: misandrist)