things my professor says pt. 42
scienceofsellingyourselfshort: “There was a problem with his tushie.” (in reference to Elvis) “Dirty words, Dirty Songs and OMG” “Who was having sex with whom and at what angle?” - Leibo
Not only do they have their boyfriends, they have each other! Must be nice! >:( This is your reaction when you are in the Forever Alone club and your non-single friends decide to be Forever Together…Together xD …I realize it was a lot funnier if you were actually there
Getting a massage
friend one: I'd be afraid if they massaged my butt that I'd fart.
f2: it's not stored in your butt
f1: what if I had to fart the whole time?
f2: well, you should have farted beforehand, then.
My students are trying to kill me. That’s what I tell my wife. She says, ‘I hope...– Tom Sweeney, aka the best math professor ever (via r0nniethebear)
why would you put out a cigarette in your friend’s armpit?
friend 1: what do you like most about her?
f2: I like her big booty bitches, big booty bitches
f3: I feel like we're violating each other..
f4: no... we're at that point in our relationship!
I get so upset sometimes and I always forget why I’m upset.– A friend
it’s not even a girly movie.. it’s from the 60’s.– a friend in reference to the breakfast club
Do a little dance
A friend just walked into my room wearing a leopard print snuggie, goggles and a cowboy hat, proceeded to run, tripped and ended up doing the most awkwardly hilarious dance I have ever witnessed. my life is sage
wanderlustgrrrl: one of my friends just opened my door, walked in wearing a blanket, started making noises and walked out another friend then peeked in, smiled and shut my door what is my life
wanderlustgrrrl: r0nniethebear: Also I just ran into Jessie’s room, rolled on the floor like Lauren Lopez/Draco, then left. She hates loves me. my life is sage